The Best Goddamn Salad. Period.

Ambitious name for a post innit? Considering I hate vegetables, salad in particular and just the thought of it makes me want to run far, far away. But these days I am being rebellious or is it adventurous, making my palate wonder around certain food groups. Fruits and Salad.

I hate salads, lets just get that out of the way. I am not a fan, never have been. The only salad I’ll ever gleefully eat is my mama’s salad, simply because its the most unhealthy and delicious salad ever; corn beef, prawns, full fat salad dressing…it tastes so damn good I have a special dance for it.

But I am doing this thing called living outside my comfort zone, hence I went looking for salad recipes on the internet. I picked up ingredients lists here and there and put my spin on it. I present you the best goddamn salad. Like ever. I know its a bold statement, but its also a fact. Yeah I know, I don’t even eat salad, and how much salad have I ever eaten, so how can I possibly be so sure. Well… you’ll just have to take my word for it.

What you need;

  • 1 Red Onions
  • Tomatoes, cherry or whatever size tickles your fancy
  • Black Pepper
  • Red Wine Vinegar
  • Cos or Romaine Lettuce
  • 1 cup extra virgin olive oil
  • 1 tablespoon lemon juice
  • Maldon Salt, a pinch
  • 150g Pitted Black Olives
  • 200g Feta Cheese
  • Some sort of spicy pepperoni/ salami (I know this is not Greek but trust me on this its a good one)
  • 1 tablespoon Caster sugar
  • 1 tablespoon red wine vinegar

How to Make;

Now, if you are not dining for a while its best to make this a couple hours ahead of time. Chop the onion as thin as you can possibly manage without crying, throw on your oregano, black pepper. Pour the vinegar and olive oil over the seasoned onions and leave to sit for two hours under a sealed bowl. Two hours, I know, but you equally don’t have to do this you can just cut and toss and make do with it. I doubt it’ll make a difference. If you do choose to do two hours, make sure you are making a three course meal at least so you have other things to while away your time. Bake a cake even. Or two. As the onion sits in the oil and vinegar it begins to change colour and turn a pearly pink.

Chop the tomatoes in quarters, stem your lettuce in water to clean it, and then rough chop it, I alway try to make this finely chopped but really, I have the patience of a child when it comes to these things, so I just chop as I see fit, not too big, not too small. Half the olives, half the spicy meat, dice the feta. Toss this all in a bowl, pour in the now well set and seasoned onions, throw over this your grated cheese, caster sugar and pinch of Maldon salt. Toss some more, sprinkle over some cheese, lots or little, your call, some full fat salad cream because life on fat free salad cream is just not okay, and serve as is or put in the fridge if your cake is not done.

Voila. Try this and I dare you to tell me its not the best salad ever.

Bon apetit.